Got an email from Xanga that I was missed.  Probably not true, but I did find a new theme for my account.  I have blogs all over the place and since I don't like the name of my Xanga site, I had let this one slide for a coupla years.  I switched to LJ, which I post on from time to time, usually about once a month.  I also have one on Google's 'Blogger,' which is where I send my personal friends. 

So, let's see, what all has changed?  Well, only one of my 4 cats is still with me.  I like to say that I have one and two-thirds cats, since we seem to share custody of all of ours.  Just over a year ago we adopted a stray kitten who we think was from a feral mom.  She was maybe 3 weeks old, so I got the chance to bottlefeed her.  She was so cute, her little ears would twitch everytime she sucked.  We named her Skittle, well... Skittle D. Squee.  She is remarkable and stubborn.  I have never met a more intelligent cat.  For example, the other day I scolded her.  I told her to get off the TV tray I had my laptop on.  So she stepped over to another tray, which I promptly told her to get off as well.  As she often does when she is told to do something she doesn't want to, she growled at me.  I had set my asthma inhaler on that other tray.  So she looked at me and then she knocked it to the floor!  What other cat would make that leap of logic?  She knew it was mine and that knocking it down would probably make me mad.  We think she might be a Bengal/Egyptian Mau mix; she definitely has some sort of wildcat prominent in her breeding.

My partners and I have now been together for about five and a half years.  I finally was declared disabled, so am getting SSI payments.  It has been so great to have money again; I didn't realize how much being broke affected my self-esteem!  My latest medical development is a tear in the rotator cuff in my shoulder.  Of course they can't fix it, so I get to just keep hurting.    I'm going to talk to my primary care doctor and see if there are any options besides steroid shots.  The last one only helped for about a month.  I was going to go to the Walk-in Clinic yesterday, but didn't feel up to the hassle and long wait.  Waiting in that waiting room always seems like an adventure in Germland.  Maybe I'll keep calling until there is an open appt. available for sooner than mid-April!

                                  BAD PAIN DAY & BACK PROBLEMS

Today is a bad pain day.  The worst part is that I just got a chiropractic adjustment yesterday.  But, I found on Thursday that my back pain isn't just from fibromyalgia or arthritis.  About 18 months ago I got an MRI; I had hung in there with my old ins. from where I lived w/ the ex until the appt for that.  Since I didn't get back to the Dr. who ordered it, I didn't get the results.  Finally got my current Dr. to request the report and that took about 3 months, but it was finally in my chart when I went in to get my cholesterol tested.  It turns out that not only do I have congenital spinal stenosis, but there are one or more cysts pressing against the sciatica nerve.  I just spoke with my aunt and she says that she has that spinal stenosis thing and my mom's mother had it too, so I guess it came from my mom's side of the family.  I wish I had inherited more of my dad's health, instead.  I remember, in the days before my mom died, she suggested that I not have any kids, unless I adopted.  I agree, I wouldn't want to wish the medical problems I have on anyone else.

There was some good news at the Dr's, though.  My cholesterol is better, overall was okay and HDL was okay.  LDL was at what they used to call okay, 130, but the new guidelines call for an LDL of 100, especially for diabetics, since they are at higher risk for heart attack.  And My A1C, the three month overall view of my blood sugar, was even lower than last time.  Last time it was 6.9, it should be at 7 or lower.  This time it was at 6.6!  So that made me happy.  Also, the news about my back might actually help my SSI case.   I am worried that they will want to operate on it; I've heard a lot of horror stories about back surgeries, but at least there is a concrete reason for some of my pain.

Although we just celebrated our 2nd anniversary, P and I have not been getting along the last few days.  Mostly we have GWW coming up and a Halloween party to get ready for, plus the house is messy, so she is stressing.  But, I don't like it when she is mad or irritated at D and the nastiness extends to me.  It both pisses me off and hurts my feelings.  Also, when there is an argument, I tend to leave, because it is just too reminiscent of my childhood.  I never knew when my mom would lash out at me and if I sided with my dad, I became the enemy as well.  P tends to talk to and treat D like he is stupid when she gets like this and that sets me off.

I'm trying this new DVD we got; it's called Telequarium and it shows a fish tank w/ fish swimming around, while peaceful music plays in the background.  I'm hoping the cats will enjoy it, but so far they don't seem to have noticed it.  If they do like it, I'm going to suggest we leave it on when we go away for the night, or, like for GWW, for days at a time.

                                                           NUDE HEAVYWEIGHT

I have not been having good luck lately!  I'm stuck at a plateau in my weight loss, which is depressing.  The more social events I go to the more days I spend recuperating and now I am back to not sleeping for the first time in a couple of years, too, which intensifies the fibromyalgia pain. 

I have discovered the joys of Tribe.net and am addicted!  I've even signed up one of my cats.

This last weekend we participated in a nude photo shoot.  Now this is the last thing I ever thought I would do!  But, it was actually very cool!  I knew over half of the other models, there was no pressure to undress if you didn't want to and it was not a bunch of skinny, perfect bodies.  One of the women was about 25 pounds heavier than me and I am no lightweight.  And there were no sexual overtones, except by people who were partnered or just gently teasing.  Some of the photos that included me actually made the photographer's online portfolio!  You have to be a member of his site and approved for a certain level before you can even access them, though, so I don't feel like I am *hanging out* there or anything.

The bad thing, besides being short on sleep, was that when we got home one of my cats was dead.  He was 18 years old and probably died of old age, it looked as if he just laid down for a nap and never woke up.  But, all three of us were crying and we ended up burying him in the backyard before sleeping, so I got about an hour's sleep before I had to make the 3 hour round trip to church.  Then there was a $hitload of traffic coming home and that made the trip even longer.  By Monday I was so fried, everything hurt!